on the verge

Being a broken record is the worst torture ever. Constantly repeating the same story - over and over, again and again. Deepening the grove with each round - digging deeper yet so struck. Tone deaf and out of tune - perpetuating the same old sad story. So sick and sickening - this broken trail of dreams. 

There I was, happy as a clam, devoid of any clue. 

irritable, angry, depressed

So very happy it bordered on obnoxious. Yes, hell, yes! Everything in my life was working. A husband who loved me. He was completely gaga over me. Spoiled me rotten. Showering me with expensive gifts. 

Taking me out for expensive celebrations. Travels booked to wild and exotic realms - stunning and awesome. A house built just so, just for me, just because. A temple raised for the worship of me, me, me. 

Can't live without me. Won't go anywhere without me. Hates having to leave me. My most loyal and ardent fan. What did I do to get him so hooked on me? I love him dearly for all of this but even I think it's hilarious. 

How he adores me. How he worships me. What a hoot - it's deranged. 

Too good to be true, right? Well, now he's gone. Zip. Boom. Bang. After years of wedded bliss - or so I thought. That person I believed so loved and worshiped me is gone. 

Took off with some young fresh thing - ha! Shocker. I am absolutely stumped. I totally did not see this coming. Truth. 

I thought he'd gone on another one of his company assigned trips. Regular but unplanned so he didn't couldn't hadn't told me. But when I called - nada, no answer, no call back. 

I was the one who'd been ignoring him of late. Pouty and prickly, too touchy about who knows what. Then a close friend suddenly lost her husband - so devastating. I freaked and thought I's better do better by my living and breathing spouse. 

So I rushed back to surprise him. But when I got to our city apartment it was empty and had been emptied out. The building management gave  notice that the the lease would not be renewed at the end of the month. 

No note. No notice. Nothing there. 

Here I sit in the dark, crying my heart out. Dreading what to say once folks start asking. Time to sing a new tune I guess. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tambanokano | the titan crab

Image
Belief in giant monsters eclipsing the moon and efforts to frighten them away are widespread throughout the Orient. Found all over Asia — in the Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, Vietnam, Japan, Mongolia, China and India — these ancient stories were spread through trade routes with the expansion of the earliest empires. The folklore of Bisaya and Mandaya indigenous tribes of the Philippines tell different tales of a giant moon eating crab they call Tambanokano . Crab_king by noah-kh / DeviantArt Tambanokano the crab was the colossal son of LiAdlao, the golden orb of our sun and LiBulan, the silver sprite of our moon. They were two of four siblings born to LiDagat, the sea and LiHangin, the wind. Long ago in a tiny village of Buglas, the cloudless night sky was illuminated by a bright flash of lightning. Buglas is the fourth largest island in the ancient archipelago we now know as the Republic of the Philippines. As the ocean waves crash violently along the shore, smashing
Read more

a different country

Image
" If you white men had never come here, this country would still be like it was. It would be all pure here. You call it wild, but it wasn’t really wild, it was free. Animals aren’t wild, they’re just free. And that’s the way we were. You called us wild, you called us savages. But we were just free. If we were savages, Columbus would never have gotten off the island alive. Our religion is all about thanking the Creator. That’s what we do when we pray. We don’t ask Him for things. We thank Him [Her]. We thank Him for the world and every animal and plant in it. We thank Him for everything that exists. We don’t take it for granted that a tree is just there. We thank the Creator for that tree. If we don’t thank Him, maybe the Creator will take that tree away... We are made from Mother Earth and we go back to Mother Earth. We can’t “own” Mother Earth. We’re just visiting here. We are the Creator’s guests. " Leon Shenandoah , — former “Tadodaho” of the Grand Council of the Six Natio
Read more

#IamWithHer

Image
Having gone through the trauma of past failed elections and their ridiculously fatal results for my homeland the Philippines, the US 2016 elections mean all the more to me as this is now the land I call home. Lest we lose sight of the importance of w hy this election matters, here are some truly valuable and valid points - borrowed from my sister,  Angelica  Berrie : For Filipino Americans like me, this election offers a historic opportunity to make a difference. Putting the first woman in the highest position in our country is a game changer, just as voting for President Obama was a game changer.   Hillary Clinton brings a consistent track record of public service, fighting for issues that touch our lives; healthcare, children, families, women, and immigration policy. A respected bipartisan Senate leader  and globally recognized world leader as Secretary of State, I trust her to make the difficult decisions that will impact our country. I want to see this first woman
Read more